Breakfast brought to you by Equality

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Whether to credit genius or ignorance it’s still hard to determine, but I’ve never really been able to wrap my head around the idea that my bi-racial family could be seen as controversial. Perhaps it’s due in part to the liberal, generally open-minded community that we are fortunate enough to live in. (Let it be known, however that the idea of two awesome people who genuinely love one another wanting to enjoy life together requiring an “open mind” to accept sets us further back than chimpanzees and THEY EAT BUGS OFF STRANGERS.) In the span of our near decade relationship, I’ve never felt discriminated against or even knowingly been on the receiving end of a disapproving look. On the other hand, maybe I’m just not trying to find it.

I catch people giving my children second and third glances regularly. I usually assume it’s because my daughter is on minute 28 of “The sun will come out tomorrow” while eating a burrito, or I slacked on hair washing an extra day and my son looks a little like he lost a fight with an egg beater wielding ninja. I also sometimes assume (considering I BIRTHED THEM) it is because they are FUCKING ADORABLE.

Really. Come ON. I'm biased but not VOID OF SIGHT.

Really. Come ON. I’m biased but not VOID OF SIGHT.

But last spring, General Mills jumped on board the 2K Express and featured in a new ad, a (GASP) NORMAL FAMILY WHO DIDN’T MATCH.

In case you’re a time traveler from the past and haven’t seen this gloriously ordinary commercial, here. Catch up:

A mom. A dad. A kid who dumps cereal all over the couch. LOOKS JUST LIKE MY HOUSE. And yet, that’s the brilliance. It’s just NORMAL. We’re black, and white and basically boring all over. We own the same car as 1/3 of all Vermonters and bitch about how much gas costs. We spend the occasional Friday night perusing Netflix only to decide on an episode of Hoarders and then list all the ways we want to kill ourselves so we don’t have to live with those mental images any longer (repeat monthly). We hug our kids with both arms. There’s no fanfare. There are no political statements. WE JUST ARE.

Yet, made apparent by the outrage this simple commercial caused in some circles of society, it’s obvious this sort of hate is out there.  (These circles, I assume are made up of people whose parents were siblings, those who were dropped directly on their heads during infancy, and/or are embroiled in some “America’s Biggest Asshole” competition that CBS hasn’t picked up yet.) Internet trolls spammed the youtube link and the comments were closed. But not before I read some. And for all the horrible shit I’ve seen on the internet, nothing made me sicker or more enraged than the cowardly slobs hiding behind handles throwing useless hate at a little girl and a god damn box of cereal.

The thought that someone could look in the faces of either of my kids and feel HATE is so unfathomable to me that I can hardly be mad about it. Someone must have cracked open their head and taken a shit in their skull. I just can’t find any less graphic way to explain it, so apologies for that one. It’s not their fault (or mine).

So as a follow up to warm the cockles of our hopeful hearts, Cheerios is doing it again for 2014.

How will you take your breakfast? In a yellow box with a side of FUCK YEAH? Me too.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a kid to pick up at school. Then I have to figure out what to make for dinner while my husband finishes work…

These are my peeps. If that gets your drawers in a wad, well, I bet you're not reading this. So cheers to you for being a fabulously functioning member of society.

These are my peeps. If that gets your drawers in a wad, well, I bet you’re not reading this. So cheers to you for being a fabulously functioning member of society.

amateur comedian, professional bullshitter. will take pay in baked goods once already rich.

  • Alis

    Your family is beautiful. Your writing is fantastic. Thank you for this.

    • OddlyWellAdjusted

      Thank you so, so very much.

  • Jenny

    Your family is adorable, and clearly anyone who would think otherwise can’t see very well.

    It breaks my heart for our children that there are people out there who still see others based on the color of their skin, and if it does or does not match their own. Why can’t everyone just see what’s on the inside (of others)… what’s in the heart.

    • OddlyWellAdjusted

      I really just cross my fingers and hope it changes with this generation. And that my kids know that love will win every time.

  • Julie Shanks Calderin

    From my biracial family to yours, Cheerios are on sale this week at Hannafords!! I am sure to see Bobby in the dairy aisle!! Keep on writing! You are hilarious.

    • OddlyWellAdjusted

      And a fine looking family it is! You know we’ll be stocking up. And picking up our weekly ration of cafe bustelo!

  • Interested Parent

    Love, love, love this blog/article. Thanks for sharing it, will definitely share it with our kin who are equally as “boring” a family make up. Excellent!

    • OddlyWellAdjusted

      Thank you so very much. Boring families to guide the world!

  • nanseac

    Which is why we live in the enlightened state of Vermont, where ignorance is not an excuse. Love your view of this great adventure we call life

    • OddlyWellAdjusted

      Thank you so much. Grateful for our community.

  • heather

    Sara, this is a beautiful message, almost as beautiful as your family!
    Heather (Gallagher) Aylward

    • OddlyWellAdjusted

      Heather! Thank you so much. I hope you’re well.

  • http://zhoag.com/ zhoag

    I love you guys.

    • OddlyWellAdjusted

      Right. Back.

  • http://www.girlgonetravel.com/ Carol Cain

    Not sure why this made me teary, but it did. Maybe because the thought of my beautifully boring biracial family causing a hatred stir is unbearable to me, maybe because your kids are so fucking cute they just make me emotional, or maybe because the commercial is super funny…and my husband did get my kids a puppy and I haven’t slept normally in freakin’ days since. Whatever it is…loved this and thank you.

    • OddlyWellAdjusted

      I can relate to all of that. Except the puppy. My husband would bring home a hooker before he’d bring home a puppy.

      Thank you so much for reading. And tweeting. And being awesome yourself.

      • http://www.girlgonetravel.com/ Carol Cain

        LMAO!!!

  • fredamae

    Well, I must agree-your “Kids Are Fucking Adorable” and that is just the “is”-and I’d like to add–they have the Most awesome Parents! I love this article! (wiping my own tears)

    • OddlyWellAdjusted

      Thank you so very much. They make it pretty easy. (Most of the time.)

  • troublesometots

    Fellow Vermonter here and I’m sure the second glances are just because they’re adorable! I’m not in a bi-racial marriage but it still shocks me that this is an issue for anybody. Don’t we have more important things to worry about then who falls in love and has beautiful children together?

    • OddlyWellAdjusted

      I think I’m glad that I’ll never understand it. Thank you so much for reading.

  • Andy Lee

    Thanks for calling me fabulous! You’re pretty fab too! Brass tacks: hate sucks (unless it’s aimed at mushrooms, or maybe gas prices). If we keep loving (in disbelief at the stupidity, ignorance, lack of insight, even at the sheer recalcitrance some days, but still loving), we bring more love into the world, and more and more and more. Your kids ARE adorable. With such great parents, their self-worth isn’t about people admiring their beauty, but all the things tests will never grade and hate can never touch – resilient spirit, kindness, friendship, generosity, etc. Great blog, mama!

    • OddlyWellAdjusted

      Ugh. Don’t get me started on mushrooms. Barf.
      Thank you for your kind words. The world needs more people like you who see things that way.

  • Kerin Durfee Gomez

    Agreed on all points. I cried when I saw the commercial. My parents decided to raise their biracial family (that began when they adopted us in 1968- talk about looks!) in Europe. My dad was in the military and his assignments provided surprisingly progressive and well diversified communities for growing twin girls of mixed race. It was only when we returned to the US that things got complicated e.g. hateful.

    Recently I have noticed other ads (TV, magazines and the internet) that reflect what I like to call the evolution of the American family. It may not seem like much of an issue to some but I remember what it was like to see NONE of what I lived reflected in any media. I for one LOVE the Gracie campaign and I wish the Cheerios were the mixed ones too. Thanks for your post.

    • OddlyWellAdjusted

      I cry at the commercials EVERY. TIME. And you’re right, I’m seeing it more every day. A Banana Republic ad outside the store, even a Netflix Internet ad with an Asian husband and black wife. I can’t imagine how different it must have been back then. Bless them for blazing the trail. Thank you so much for reading.

  • Deb Ellis

    You nailed it! Simply adorable! Thank you. Having raised a bi-racial child in our community… yup!

    • OddlyWellAdjusted

      Thank YOU.

  • Lisa Johnson

    As the mommy in a transracial family (built through adoption), I fell completely in love with the original Gracie ad… who wouldn’t? And this puppy one is a scream! I showed the first to my girls, but no way am I showing them the pup one! No dogs! 4 bunnies is enough! *** As a fellow Vermont family, I am delighted to see your beautiful faces here for my first time. Keep livin’ loud and proud and messy and happy. Poor hater folks… they have to live with themselves all the time. How gross that must get for them.

    • OddlyWellAdjusted

      You are awesome.

  • NovaMoms

    I’m half white, half Asian, husbands Black (he goes by Black, not African American), & our son is all of the above. When I saw the first Cheerios commercial, I could not believe it!!!! I said to my husband, “OMG, I think this the first commercial I have seen that portraits a mixed race family!”
    I immediately went to the computer to find the YouTube video to send to friends and was horrified to find controversy and worse. I am so glad they did another. And yes, I like my breakfast from a big yellow box that says “Fuck Yea” on the side. I appreciate this article very much.

    • OddlyWellAdjusted

      Thank you so much for reading it. And since you mention it, my husband identifies as black too. In his words, “when have I ever been to Africa?”